I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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