I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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