I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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