hotel room ftw
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
