What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
