He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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