It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
