you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Randomize
