I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
