youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
