so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
this will be a night to untag.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
