weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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