Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
My vagina is very pro this idea
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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