The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
