Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
