i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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