we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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