There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
