your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
