I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
