it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
