when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
