What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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