I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize