i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
be right there i have to get my cape
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
