Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
