I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Is it penis luge time yet?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
