Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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