i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
