it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
