are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I think I sprained my soul last night
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
