I think scott just propositioned me for sex
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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