I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
