idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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