i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
