WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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