I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
