I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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