Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
