ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
