How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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