There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
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