Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
