omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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