I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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