well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
