Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
