I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Can you bring me the toilet please
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
