Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
