Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
