I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Randomize
