we're chasing vodka with high fives
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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