I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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