I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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