I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize