K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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