just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
