Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I got inside last night via doggy door
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
