we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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