Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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