so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
