I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
