I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Who died my cat blue again?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
