What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize