Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
