So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
