we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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