who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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