you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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