would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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