I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
