all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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