What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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