Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
