Too much gin, very little bucket
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
