i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
