How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
