Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
