So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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