jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
This is my life. Enjoy the view
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
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