Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
