They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
