we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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