Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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